


Gay Shit

by TrashTrashTrash



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Multi, because duh, but expect a lot of gay, no other ships in the tags because I don't want to give it away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:43:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashTrashTrash/pseuds/TrashTrashTrash
Summary: BillionairePlayboyGenius: only yasss queensThatBitch: that’s gayBillionairePlayboyGenius: natasha youre gayOr the groupchat fic I finally gave into writing. This is going to be a wild ass time so strap in kids.





	1. Eight Hour Nap

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/createtheworld/playlist/0Tlv1WUVjwSf9uNC86ofRu?si=FiHxiK9wRFqn_G4ogHQzMg

**CHAPTER 1: The Night Before**

 

**Gay Shit 😩✨**

 

**Members:**

 

**Merica:** Steve Rogers

**BillionairePlayboyGenius:** Tony Stark

**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

**GodofLesbians:** Thor Odinson 

**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner

**ShitOverIt:** Clint Barton

 

AUGUST 28TH 10:28 PM

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Okay sisters it’s the first day of the semester tomorrow

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Let’s send a prayer to our lord and savior John Mulaney and get a good 8 hour nap before school 

 

GodofLesbians: uwu

 

AngryBean: Thor no

 

GodofLesbians: Thor yes

 

GodofLesbians: (animegirlwinking.gif)

 

ShitOverIt: you really have the nerve to say that shit

 

ShitOverIt: right in front of my good christian salad??

 

ThatBitch: yall need to /stop/

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: “yall”??? 

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: ooo are we cowboys now

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: is this a kink thing

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: because im into it

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: yeehaw my dudes

 

GodofLesbians: yeeyee

 

ShitOverIt: Y E E  Y E E 

 

AngryBean: I don’t like this

 

AngryBean: Redneck culture makes me uncomfy

 

ThatBitch: why

 

AngryBean: Idk I lived in Texas for half of my childhood and they’re just really homophobic and my gay ass was not a fan

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: we stan a tragic backstory

 

ThatBitch: tea not every place is as accepting as NYC

 

ShitOverIt: True NYC is gay as hell

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: It’s decided then-

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: no more yeeyees 

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: only yasss queens

 

ThatBitch: that’s gay

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: natasha youre gay

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: everyone in this groupchat is gay

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: the whole world is gay

 

ShitOverIt: no printer just facts

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: ANYWAY

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Now that we all know that were gay we need to stfu

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: This is the only day of the year I get to sleep for more than three hours and im not gonna let you dumb bitches fuck it up for me

 

AngryBean: gee tony okay we’ll go to sleep

 

AngryBean: night kids

 

ShitOverIt: nighty night 

 

ThatBitch: don’t let the dumb bitch disease bite

 

GodofLesbians: goodnight my friends

  
  


AUGUST 28TH 11:10 PM

 

Merica: wait what

 

Merica: ...

 

Merica: Ok gnight


	2. Sure Jan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OverIt: ya just got an IM from the chief
> 
> ThatBitch: what’d he say
> 
> OverIt: that that ain’t it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say last time, but this is obviously inspired by the iconic Skate Fast Eat Ass universe.
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/createtheworld/playlist/0Tlv1WUVjwSf9uNC86ofRu?si=0MX89zMRRYKfz3VcTeTf-Q

 

**CHAPTER 2: The Chief Called**

  
  


**Gay Shit 😩✨**

 

**Members:**

 

**Merica:** Steve Rogers

**BillionairePlayboyGenius:** Tony Stark

**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

**GodofLesbians:** Thor Odinson 

**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner

**ShitOverIt:** Clint Barton

 

AUGUST 29TH 7:48 AM

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: OKAY GAMER GIRLS IT’S *THAT* DAY LETS GET THIS DAMN BREAD

 

Merica: Gamers sound off

 

ThatBitch: Have my signature fenty red lipstick and stilettos to kill a bitch while still looking bomb as hell

 

GodOfLesbians: Ready to attack with my award winning smile

 

AngryBean: I’ve got everyone’s location so none of you bitches can leave

 

ShitOverIt: Got my handy dandy map of the air vents in my phone to make sure we don’t have another RBG happen again

 

Merica: I’ve got my hero complex ready to get me sent to the principal’s office within the first hour

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: And I have enough crippling anxiety and money to accidentally start world war 3

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: I think were ready

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: OH bt dubs guys

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: My cousin Peter is transferring to our school today so everyone pwease be nice

 

ThatBitch: what grade is he?

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: he’s a sophomore but hes super smart so hell probs be in some of our classes

 

ShitOverIt: We stan a kid who has the balls to walk into a room with a bunch of rabid juniors

 

GodofLesbians: he is an honorable young man

 

GodofLesbians: we shall be friends! :D

 

AngryBean: ya he sounds cool

 

GodofLesbians: does the child have any extracurricular activities he enjoys to partake in?

 

AngryBean: wait Thor why are you speaking like that

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: I mean he likes science but he doesnt sport if thats what youre getting at

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: a kid after my own heart

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: also ya you are being weird whats that about pointbreak?

 

GodofLesbians: I have no such idea what you speak of, son of Banner and son of Stark.

 

AngryBean: 

 

Angry Bean:

 

AngryBean: ?????????

 

GodofLesbians: Fine

 

GodofLesbians: my stupid dad is trying to make me “more royal” and “less uwu”

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Ew that aint it

 

ShitOverIt: ya just got an IM from the chief

 

ThatBitch: what’d he say

 

ShitOverIt: that that ain’t it 

 

Merica: wait

 

Merica: did your dad 

 

Merica: the KING OF NORWAY

 

Merica: really say “less uwu”??????

 

GodofLesbians: yes

 

GodofLesbians: it was traumatizing

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: dear GAUD

 

ShitOverIt: Damn 

 

ShitOverIt: can I get a RIP in the chat for Thor’s mental stability??

 

ThatBitch: phat RIP

 

AngryBean: Thor I think you’re perfect the way you are

 

AngryBean: you are smart and kind 

 

AngryBean: who cares what he thinks

 

AngryBean: he’s an ass anway

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Oh damn

 

Merica: go OFF 

 

ThatBitch: that

 

ShitOverIt: was gay

 

AngryBean: sorry I just don’t want you to think you have to change bc you don’t

 

GodOfLesbians: thanks brucey :) 

 

GodofLesbians: that’s a big uwu

  
  
  


**The Normal Ones**

 

**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

 

**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner 

 

AUGUST 29TH 7:55 AM

 

ThatBitch: ummmm

 

ThatBitch: what was that?

 

AngryBean: what was what

 

ThatBitch: uh you hopping on Thor’s dick like that

 

AngryBean: I have no idea what you’re talking about

 

ThatBitch: sure Jan

 

ThatBitch: whatever you say “brucey”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, skaters. The chapters will get longer the more there are, I'm just busy with finals and still trying to establish the characters.
> 
> Stay Trashy, Trash Squad


	3. Big Dick Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merica: Here we go again
> 
> AngryBean: please make sure both hands and feet are inside the vehicle at all times because shits about to go down
> 
> Merica: Thank you for flying World Star Express

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient. I just finished my first year of college and she was A LOT. Author's notes will be at the end!

**CHAPTER 3: Big Dick Energy**

 

**Gay Shit 😩✨**

 

**Members:**

 

**Merica:** Steve Rogers

**BillionairePlayboyGenius:** Tony Stark

**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

**GodofLesbians:** Thor Odinson 

**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner

**OverIt:** Clint Barton

 

AUGUST 29TH 9:01 AM

 

GodOfLesbians: OMG PETER IS SO CUTE ALDNQKAKSNS

 

ThatBitch: He is my child

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: back off whore ive already signed the adoption papers

 

AngryBean: guys relax

 

Merica: ya we can share the kid.

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: fine but I get him on weekends

 

ShitOverIt: what?? No faiiirrr I was gonna take him to Chuck E. Cheese this weekend :(((

 

AngryBean: Um didn’t you see Shane’s series???

 

ThatBitch: Ya pretty sure the chief called about that

 

ShitOverIt: Gee nat whatd he say?

 

Merica: I was also there when the call was made. Nat, may I?

 

ThatBitch: Take it away, Cap.

 

Merica: He said that ain’t it

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: All hail Chief for keeping us in his holy light

 

ShitOverIt: fine we can switch on weekends

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: ugh fine we can all switch who has Peter on weekends

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: the rest can have one weekday with him

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: deal?

 

Merica: ...

 

Merica: or…

 

Merica: We can treat Peter like the already-has-parents-young-adult he is and not claim ownership over him and just see him when he wants to see us????

 

ThatBitch: What’s the fun in that, Rogers??

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: also the boys an orphan so

 

AngryBean: oh

 

GodOfLesbians: :(

 

ShitOverIt: zoinks scoob

 

Merica: Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know that.

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: eh dont worry about it hes good his aunt may rocks and owns Ben’s Joe on 53rd.

 

AngryBean: WAIT WHAT

 

ShitOverIt: THE Ben’s Joe???

 

AngryBean: THE Ben’s Joe that serves the best coffee in all of Brooklyn Ben’s Joe????

 

Merica: THE Ben’s Joe I go to every morning to get my ma her favorite cappuccino Ben’s Joe??

 

GodOfLesbians: THE Ben’s Joe that always puts a heart in my latte Ben’s Joe???

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: yup

 

GodOfLesbians: :O

 

AngryBean: what he said

 

Merica: Wait why’s it called Ben’s Joe?

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Well her husband Ben died a couple years back and she had to support Peter and herself on her own

 

ThatBitch: oof

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: ya big oof

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: anyway Ben was apparently always telling her how good her coffee was so she decided to open up her own coffee shop and name it after him.

 

ShitOverIt: aw

 

GodOfLesbians: that gives my heart big uwus

 

Merica: what a badass

 

ThatBitch: Honestly ya. Adopts her sibling’s kid when they die, thinking she’ll have her husband to help only to have him die too, and she’s still gotta take care of the kid? That’s some Big Dick Energy™ right there.

 

ShitOverIt: preach

 

Merica: amen

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius:  Clint where are you I’m by your locker we have english in 12 minutes

 

ShitOverIt: ….

 

AngryBean: Clint

 

Merica: Clint no

 

GodOfLesbians: :C

 

ThatBitch: CLINT FUCKING BARTON WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: jfc

 

Merica: Here we go again

 

AngryBean: please make sure both hands and feet are inside the vehicle at all times because shits about to go down

 

Merica: Thank you for flying World Star Express

 

ThatBitch: WE AGREED NO MORE GOING IN THE SCHOOL AIR VENTS AFTER YOUR BITCH ASS GOT CAUGHT LAST YEAR AFTER BUDAPEST AND YOU WERE PULLED OUT BY THE SWAT TEAM

 

ShitOverIt: WE DON’T TALK ABOUT BUDAPEST NATASHA

 

ThatBitch: THAN DON’T BE A STUPID BITCH AND GET THE FUCK DOWN

 

ShitOverIt:FINE UGH

 

ShitOverIt: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

  
  


AUGUST 29TH 9:18 AM

 

ShitOverIt: I’m coming Tony meet me in the bathroom

 

ShitOverIt: ??? why 

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: ya know what nvm ok coming

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: you comin point break??

 

GodOfLesbians: ya just forgot my sailor moon eraser in my locker

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: cool see you there

 

Merica: Ready for World History AP, Nat?

 

GodOfLesbians: you mean WHAP?

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: .

 

ThatBitch: ..

 

AngryBean: …

 

Merica: ….

 

ShitOverIt: dog what flip flap patty whack shitting shit just came out of your beautiful dumb bitch disease ridden mouth

 

GodOfLesbians: you know, World History AP, WHAP?

 

ThatBitch: What on God’s green fucking shithole of an Earth 

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: who allowed that

 

Merica: We need to know, Thor. Someone has to make them pay for their sins. We will avenge the world for this heinous crime against humanity.

 

GodOfLesbians: what?? That’s what it was called on Asgard??

 

AngryBean: Thor, even I think that’s whack.

 

ShitOverIt: Wacker than hell my dude

 

BillionairePlayboyGenius: That acronym? Whack.

 

GodOfLesbians: gee guys ok won’t say it anymore I sowwy :’(

 

Merica: oh god guys look we fucked up a perfectly good Thor. He’s got anxiety now.

 

AngryBean: I’m sorry, Thor.

 

GodOfLesbians: It’s ok, Brucey :). See you in physics :)))).

  
  
  


**The Normal Ones**

 

**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner 

 

AUGUST 29TH 9:28 AM

 

ThatBitch: (raisingeyebrows.gif)

 

AngryBean: shut up

 

AngryBean: I know your hair color is fake bitch

 

ThatBitch: The FUCK did you just say to me Banner

 

AngryBean:

 

AngryBean: nothing ma’am

 

ThatBitch: That’s what I thought

  
  
  


**Tik Tok Thots**

 

**GodofLesbians:** Thor Odinson

**OverIt:** Clint Barton

 

AUGUST 29TH 9:35 AM

 

ShitOverIt: So

 

ShitOverIt: You and Bruce fuckin?

 

GodOfLesbians: :0

 

whhaaaaaaa

 

GodOfLesbians: no

 

GodOfLesbians: nah nah nah nah 

 

GodOfLesbians: how

 

GodOfLesbians: wha

 

GodOfLesbians: how could you even think that???

 

GodOfLesbians: pshhh you crazyyy

 

ShitOverIt: Thor

 

GodOfLesbians: ... what

 

ShitOverIt: Thooorrrrr

 

GodOfLesbians: Ugh finesies

 

GodOfLesbians: I like him, ok?

 

GodOfLesbians: Happy??

 

ShitOverIt: You know he totally likes you

 

GodOfLesbians: lol no

 

ShitOverIt: lol yes

 

GodOfLesbians: :/ This isn’t funny I really like him. I know he could never like me back. I know I’m just some uwu football jock and a beautiful genius like Bruce would never even begin to think about me like that but you don’t have to rub it in.

 

ShitOverIt: Thor that’s not what I’m doing he’s so gone for you man

 

GodOfLesbians: just leave it ok???

 

ShitOverIt: Thor

 

ShitOverIt: Thor??

 

ShitOverIt: god damn it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
>  
> 
> \- If you noticed, I changed Clint's username from OverIt to ShitOverIt in every chapter. I just thought it was better.
> 
> \- I actually wrote more for this chapter, but it was getting too long and I wanted to get something out for you guys.
> 
> \- More characters will be entered in the chat next chapter.
> 
> \- I've figured out the main plot and it's gonna be super cool and I'm excited to write it.
> 
> \- The new version of A Whole New World with zayn SLAPS
> 
> \- leave comments below!!!


	4. 10,000 Pushups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ShitOverIt: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME
> 
> ThatBitch: THAT’S JUST MY OPINION
> 
> ShitOverIt: 
> 
> ThatBitch:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COME GET YALLS JUICE

**Budapest Isn’t Real**

**ShitOverIt:** Clint Barton  
**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

AUGUST 29TH 9:50 AM

ShitOverIt: Thor’s being a pussy

ThatBitch: Are you talking about ThorBruce?

ShitOverIt: of course

ThatBitch: Ya I’ve tried talking to Bruce about it and he just denies it.

ShitOverIt: Well I just talked to Thor and he /tried/ to deny it but ended up going into a Fat Gay Panic and popped off at me about how someone like Bruce could never like him

ThatBitch: But that’s?? Not?? True??

ThatBitch: Like??

ThatBitch: At all??

ShitOverIt: Ik and I tried telling him that but he thought I was fucking with him which just made it even sadder

ShitOverIt: Sad squared dog

ShitOverIt: I can’t see my Soft Boy™ sad

ShitOverIt: Then I get sad and my frail toxic masculinity can’t handle that

ThatBitch: Clint please you cried four times when we saw Love Simon.

ShitOverIt: HEARING JENNIFER GARDNER TELL SIMON HE COULD BREATHE NOW WAS THE BEST MOMENT IN CINEMATIC HISTORY

ShitOverIt: DON’T PLAY WOMAN

ThatBitch: tea

ThatBitch: BUT main fucking point is we need those two numbnuts to get together.

ThatBitch: wait hold on Tony’s texting me

 

**Baddest Baddies**

**BillionairePlayboyGenius** : Tony Stark  
**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

AUGUST 29TH 9:54 AM

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Are you texting Clint right now about ThorBruce?

ThatBitch: Yes

ThatBitch: Wait how did you know that

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Nat we’re some of the oldest friends in the group

BillionairePlayboyGenius: we share the same two brain cells at this point

ThatBitch: response accepted

BillionairePlayboyGenius: and because we are such dear friends i need you to do a favor

ThatBitch: And what would that be oh dearest friend?

BillionairePlayboyGenius: back off of the whole Thorbruce situation

BillionairePlayboyGenius: and get Legolas to do the same

ThatBitch: Is there a reason you are trying to tell me of all people what to do?

BillionairePlayboyGenius: 10,000 pushups

ThatBitch: what

BillionairePlayboyGenius: you heard me woman

ThatBitch: Tony what fucking crack cocaine rich people drug are you on rn??

BillionairePlayboyGenius: you know

BillionairePlayboyGenius: like in brooklyn 99

ThatBitch: Tony we have never used that phrase once throughout the duration of our chaotic ass friendship

BillionairePlayboyGenius: well we’re stealing it

BillionairePlayboyGenius: so

BillionairePlayboyGenius: 10,000 pushups

ThatBitch: ..

ThatBitch: Fine

ThatBitch: But there better be a good damn reason why you won’t let me meddle in our friends love lives

BillionairePlayboyGenius: Promise

 

**Budapest Isn’t Real**

**ShitOverIt:** Clint Barton  
**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov

AUGUST 29TH 10:09 AM

ThatBitch: Clint we can’t super secret spy mission Thor and Bruce’s emotional constipation anymore

ShitOverIt: What??????

ShitOverIt: why nooootttt

ThatBitch: Apparently there’s a good fucking reason according to Stark

ShitOverIt: fuck

ShitOverIt: now what am I gonna do??

ThatBitch: umm idk find your own romance ig

ShitOverIt: um

ShitOverIt: ok

ShitOverIt: come for my ass

ShitOverIt: i can’t believe you’ve done this

ShitOverIt: this is a personal fucking attack

ShitOverIt: it really be your own fuckin people

ThatBitch: Clinton Francis Barton

ThatBitch: Stop being such a fucking drama queen

ThatBitch: We both know you’re a hopeless romantic

ShitOverIt: just because you and okoye are /the/ lesbian couple of Manhattan-

ThatBitch: thank you

ShitOverIt: welcome

Clint: - does not mean you know what I should do with my love life

ThatBitch: um

ThatBitch: that’s exactly what that means

ThatBitch: Come on, Clint

ThatBitch: Seriously

ThatBitch: I just want you to be happy

ShitOverIt: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME

ThatBitch: THAT’S JUST MY OPINION

ShitOverIt:

ThatBitch:

ShitOverIt: fine

ShitOverIt: I’ll think about it

ThatBitch: :)

ShitOverIt: shut up bitch

ThatBitch: :))))))))

 

**Gay Shit 😩✨**

**Members:**

**Merica:** Steve Rogers  
**BillionairePlayboyGenius:** Tony Stark  
**ThatBitch:** Natasha Romanov  
**GodofLesbians:** Thor Odinson  
**AngryBean:** Bruce Banner  
**ShitOverIt:** Clint Barton

AUGUST 29TH 12:10 PM

BillionairePlayboyGenius: you losers ready for this

Merica: Is it time?

GodofLesbians: :D

ShitOverIt: OH GOD

ShitOverIt: IT’S HAPPENING

GodofLesbians: :DD

ThatBitch: EVERYBODY STAY CALM

ThatBitch: STAY FUCKING CALM

Merica: I get that reference!!!

GodofLesbians: :DDDD

AngryBean:

AngryBean: this is gonna go well

BillionairePlayboyGenius: the one

BillionairePlayboyGenius: the only

BillionairePlayboyGenius: beter barker

_( **BillionairePlayboyGenius** has added **SpideyBoy** to **Gay Shit 😩✨** )_

SpideyBoy: …..

SpideyBoy: ……

SpideyBoy: ….. heeeewwwWWOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall enjoyed. It took me a while to post because 
> 
> A- I'm a pussy
> 
> and B- I've been planning out the plot for the entire fic and even have a sequel plot, which I ain't even gonna front with yall, that shits fire
> 
> If you have any questions or comments, leave them below.
> 
>  
> 
> Stay trashy,  
> Trash Squad
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. If you haven't already, check out my other fic, Creature of Thunder. For those who do read it, I promise I will be posting soon but I've also gotta plan out the plotline of CoT too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> If you like this kind of shit fest, check out my other fic in the works, Creature of Thunder.
> 
>  
> 
> Stay Trashy, Trash Squad.


End file.
